Cultural Differences

I’ve had a lot of questions from people back home about what kind of “culture shock” I experienced when coming to Mozambique.  I haven’t posted about it so far because I wanted to give myself time to observe the culture and draw my own conclusions.  Of course it is a constant process, but I feel like I’ve been in the country long enough to make some comments about the cultural differences I’ve observed.

1.     Polygamy

First, probably the hardest cultural difference I’ve had to deal with is the prevalence of polygamy.  Here in Mozambique it is very common for a man to have multiple wives.  Technically, is it illegal but there is no enforcement of the law so polygamy is extremely prevalent.  Historically, a man’s multiple wives lived in the same family compound and raised their children together, but nowadays men sometimes have completely different houses for their wives.  In addition, the wives might not even know about each other.  To be honest, I’ve had a hard time getting used to this idea.  It is hard for me to respect a man who has 4 wives and 32 children.  It is hard for me to have a conversation with him without wanting to scream, “what were you thinking?!? How can you care for 32 children!?!”  Polygamy isn’t an archaic, traditional leftover either.  Young men are continuing to practice polygamy.  I recently heard about a woman whose 27 year-old husband of one year wants to marry another woman (but still stay with his first wife as well).  If a man in the United States told his wife that, she would most likely file for divorce as quickly as possible.  For most women in Mozambique, that isn’t an option since they depend on their husbands to support them and their children.  Even for women with jobs of their own it is difficult. Since having a husband and a family is so necessary in Mozambican culture most women can’t conceive of the idea of living by themselves by choice.  So if a man tells his wife he would like to take another wife, she usually just puts up with it even if it isn’t what she wants. 

Again, not all Mozambican men are polygamists. I have met some extremely dedicated, committed, monogamous couples raising families.  But every time I hear about a man having more than one wife or a kid having 30 siblings it still shocks me.

2.     Trash disposal (or lack thereof)

There is no system for trash disposal in Mozambique.  There are no trash cans anywhere to be found and most people just throw trash on the ground wherever they are.  This means there is trash everywhere.  There are old sandals buried in the paths, scraps of plastic bags in the trees, bottle caps and chip bags mixed in with the dirt in the fields.  It definitely takes some getting used to to walk past piles of trash all over the place every day.  I’m not used to it yet.  I still hoard my trash in pockets and purses instead of throwing it on the ground, even if there is no place in the near future where I will be able to dispose of it properly. I even cringe when I throw a banana peel in the ditch on the side of the road even though I know that in this tropical climate it will probably biodegrade in a week or less.  During site visits I threw my coke can out the window of the bus because there was no other option and I still feel badly about it.

Also, since there are no trash pickup services, most people dig a big hole in their yard and burn their trash.  Yes, all of it.  Plastic bottles, plastic bags, tin cans, paper, clothes, everything.  I have thought about explaining the dangers of burning plastic, but the truth is if they didn’t burn the trash it would just build up and they would still have nothing to do with it. Every time I smell a trash pile burning I cringe for my lungs, the lungs of all Mozambicans, and for the environment.  Any ideas to address this problem would be greatly appreciated. 

3.     Parenting

In the United States, parents take their responsibility to ensure the safety of their children very seriously.  They baby proof the house, make concrete plans of who is going to care for their children when they have to leave, and make sure their children don’t do anything that could potentially harm them.  In Mozambique, the attitude is very different.  I’m not saying Mozambicans don’t care about their kids—they definitely do, but they are much more laid back about safety.  The general philosophy is that a child should be able to take care of itself and keep itself safe.  At my host family in Namaacha, my mae would regularly leave my 10 month old sister in the care of my 8 year old sister for an entire day.  Laiza would feed, bathe, and change the baby all on her own.  None of the outlets in my house had protective plastic covers.  None of the corners of the coffee table were padded.  There were no “playpens” or baby gates for the baby—she just roamed wherever she wanted.  Here in Zobue, 5 year old kids carry their 1 year old siblings on their backs and 3 year olds roam the neighborhood in groups of kids without parents.  It works because older children are remarkably aware and capable of taking care of their younger siblings, even if the older children are only 5 years old.  Kids grow up here extremely fast.  I would forget my sister Laiza was only 8 because she did so many adult tasks.

   

Just today I had an experience that was a little shocking to me, but totally normal for Mozambique.  I was in a taxi coming back from a nearby town and the taxi stopped for a woman and her small child, probably about 3 years old.  The woman put the child into the taxi and I thought she was going to get in as well, but the taxi then drove off.  That’s weird, I thought. Maybe there isn’t enough room in the taxi so she is going to walk and meet us down the road. After a minute or so the taxi pulls to the side of the road where a small dirt road branches off to the right. The man sitting next to me lifts the child and puts him on the side of the road.  I look around to see where the woman is but she is nowhere to be seen.  Then the taxi starts to drive away as the child stands alone on the side of the road and starts to walk down the dirt road.  I must have looked very confused because the man next to me explained that the child was coming back from school.  All these adults were just helping him get home.  It is a true example of a village raising a child.  A child of 3 years old can walk home by himself because he has a whole village looking out for him.

4.     Eye contact

In the United States, making eye contact is a sign of respect and a way to show you are paying attention.  When someone is talking to you, you look them in the eyes to show them you are listening.  When you are talking to someone, you look them in the eyes so they know you are talking to them.  In Mozambique, not making eye contact is a sign of respect and looking someone directly in the eyes can be seen as rude, as a come-on, or as a challenge to authority.  This has been hard for me to get used to.  The first week we were in Zobue, the director of the school took us around and introduced us to the police, the border officials, and the chief of the town.  As he was talking to these various people he would look down or look around the room. I found myself thinking, who is he talking to? Why isn’t he more focused? Then I remembered that he wasn’t making eye contact out of respect.  Sometimes when I first meet someone and they aren’t looking at me I find myself thinking, who is this person, does he not want to talk to me?  Then I remember, he’s not making eye contact out of respect.  It’s hard to get used to.

5.     Nose-picking

To end on a light note, it is completely socially acceptable to pick your nose in public.  You can pick your nose walking down the street, when you’re talking to someone, even when you’re teaching, as my lingua professors would do frequently.  No need to find a tissue, just pick away!